Heavy rope
by NineStar
Summary: Gail's life is unraveling. Set post 5x11.
1. Chapter 1

_Author notes: I own nothing. This is my first fic, so please be gentle. I don't have a beta so I apologise for any mistakes. _

Gail woke up from a deep sleep with a strangled scream. Another night, another nightmare. It had been months since she had watched Holly walk through the gate at the airport, yet every night her brain decided she had to relive the worst moment of her life. Gail sighed and looked at the time on her phone, 04:45. Gail was on first shift and didn't need to be awake for another hour and a half. She knew going back to sleep wasn't an option, so she decided to start her day early.

After taking a shower and shoving some cereal in her mouth Gail decided to use her extra time to do some research. She would be seeing Sophie again this week and she wanted to find some fun things she could do with the girl. Sophie was smart and loved all things nerdy. Of course she did, Gail thought. After finding an exciting looking exhibit coming to the Ontario Science Centre she looked back at her clock. The time was close enough, Gail was sick of sitting in her empty apartment, so she grabbed her duty bag, and her keys, and headed out towards the station.

Gail showed up half an hour before parade. It was something that the other officers in 15 division had started to notice happening routinely. Most of the other officers knew of Gail's intentions to adopt a child, as with any sort of gossip, the news had in fact, spread around the department like herpes. Most of those officers also just assumed that it had something to do with why Gail had begun to show up for shift early everyday. Only Traci knew the truth, she had been able to sense something wrong with the blonde immediately after Holly's departure. Of course it had taken several attempts, and some tequila, before Gail began to give any sort of clue as to what was bothering her. Gail had begun to trust and confide in Traci more and more since the adoption process had begun, and because Traci herself had a child Gail figured she would eventually need advice from the detective. And thus began Gail opening up to someone other than Holly.

Gail sat in the locker room typing out a text to Traci knowing that the detective would be awake.

**I had the stupid dream again. My fucking brain needs to give it a rest already. Holly is gone. I've moved on why can't my brain. **Gail hit the send button and placed the phone back into her pocket. Gail had just entered the parade room when her phone vibrated. Gail glanced around the mostly empty room then opened the message from Traci.

**Maybe you haven't moved on Gail.**

Gail rolled her eyes and locked the phone before putting it away. She didn't feel like answering what she knew deep down was the truth.

The rest of the day was your standard patrol day. Gail had been paired with Dov and the biggest call of the day had been a shoplifter at the Beer Store. Gail was always thankful that Dov was too focused on mending his relationship with Chloe and hadn't felt the need to comment on Gail's relationship, of course as soon as the thought left her head Dov opened his mouth, "Gail. I know this isn't my place but are you ok?"

Gail turned in the passenger seat to look at Dov, "peachy. Can we get back to the station already. I have better things to do."

"Come on Gail I know you, you've been like a robot since Holly left. I know she..."

"Shut. Up. Dov. We are not having this conversation. Not now. Not ever. Just shut up and drive." And with that the conversation was done. Dov kept his eyes focused on the road whilst Gail stared out the window.

After finishing shift Gail returned home and threw her bag next to the door like she always did. She then sat on the chair in her living room and cried, as per her now daily routine. Today's tears were just a touch different though. Having thought about Traci's text all day had put her brain into a loop, a loop that circled around one Holly Stewart. Gail knew she hadn't moved on from the dark haired women and that if she was honest with herself, she never would. No one had ever seen into her so quickly and so completely. No one had devastated her so completely either. Gail stood up from the chair wiped her eyes and headed to the kitchen. She pulled out a bottle of whiskey and began to drink.

Twenty minutes after opening the bottle of whiskey Gail heard her phone rang. She picked it up and was confused by the name written on the screen. It was Sophie's social worker. Gail racked her now fuzzy brain to try and think of a reason the woman would be calling on a day when she wasn't scheduled to see Sophie. Gail's brain failed her.

With a quick swipe Gail answered the call. "Hello?"

"Gail, it's Laura, can we talk?"

Suddenly stone sober, Gail's stomach dropped. This was not good, not good at all. "Is Sophie ok?"

"She's fine Gail. The reason I'm calling is to let you know that there's been a development in finding a family member for Sophie."

"Oh." Was all that Gail could croak out.

"I'm so sorry about this Gail, and I didn't want to tell you this way. I know how much you care for her. But it turns out her father is alive and in Canada. He didn't even know about Sophie until we reached out to Sophie's distant cousin in the states. He has to go through screening, but he wants to take her. I'm so sorry Gail. I'll try to talk to him and see if he will agree to let you continue to visit Sophie, if you want."

Gail couldn't stop the tears from running down her face, but she tried to choke them back as much as she could. "I would like that. I won't give up on her."

"I know you won't Gail and I know it doesn't mean much, but I really am sorry. Once I know anything else I'll let you know."

Gail mumbled a thank you and hung up the phone. Her world shattered in pieces again.

Gail woke up the next day on the floor of her bedroom with an empty bottle of whiskey still in her hands. Her head felt like a marching band was playing, but Gail didn't care, the nightmare hadn't come last night. Gail could only remember darkness after passing out from the alcohol. Gail looked around the room and after finding her phone she checked the time, 10:23. Gail groaned, she was over two hours late for duty. Gail then checked her texts and found two from Andy, three from Chris, two from Dov, but only a single one from Traci. She opened that one.

**Gail are you ok? Really? **

Gail walked into the washroom and turned the shower on. She began to strip her clothing off when she saw her reflection in the mirror. Dark circles appeared around her eyes, they were accompanied by pink puffy skin beneath her eyes. In other words, she looked like shit. Her fellow officers would surely notice her appearance on top of her tardiness. Her only option was to call in a sick day, and that's exactly what she did, for the first time since joining the police force. Gail took a sick day.


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's Note: Thanks for all the support! This fandom is amazing! Again, I own nothing except any grammatical errors. This story is gonna get dark, but I promise, there's a happy ending._

Chapter Two:

The following day began similar to the previous one. Gail awoke with the room spinning and an empty bottle next to her. She noticed that it didn't seem that bright outside her window and her suspicions were confirmed by a check of the time. Gail had enough time to make it to parade if she left within the next twenty minutes. She quickly showered, brushed her teeth and found her duty bag. She made it to the station and changed into her uniform with one minute to spare.

Gail took a seat in the back of the room and listened to Oliver speak about the latest trends in crime. She tried to focus but found that her head was pounding so loudly it was hard to make sense of any of the words. At the end of his spiel Oliver went over assignments, Gail received front desk duty. Gail sighed as Oliver made his way over to the blonde.

"You feelin better today?" Gail could hear the concern dripping from Oliver's words. Her heart constricted a bit in the realisation of how her actions affected those around her, she quickly shoved the feeling down and turned on the classic Peck.

"I'm fine. Probably something I ate." Gail tried her best to look annoyed but Oliver could tell when his favourite rookie was a bit off, he know something was seriously wrong. He pushed the thought away though, as he knew Gail didn't tell you what she didn't want you to know. She had to come to him, he would wait for that moment and then he would try his hardest to fix whatever it was.

"Okay, well I can get Celery to make you some tea if you're still feeling sick later. I'm sure she'd love to help."

"Ugh. Sorry Oliver but I don't know how you can drink that stuff, I'll stick with my Cheetos thanks."

"Your loss Peck. Actually what am I saying, I would kill for some Cheetos right now."

"Get your own. I'm sick, remember." Gail smirked and Oliver threw up his hands. As Oliver walked away he couldn't help but think Gail wasn't completely broken. If he had only known.

For the next week Gail repeated her work-drink-pass out cycle with none of the other officers the wiser. Most of them were too wrapped up in their own drama to notice that the Ice Queen of 15 Division was coming completely apart. Even Gail's own brother hadn't noticed the increased frequency of Gail coming to the station hung over or still drunk. It wasn't until Chloe made a comment to Andy about Gail's lack of hygiene as of late that anyone started to poke their heads in Gail's direction. It wasn't for yet another week that people really started to notice.

The day Gail was partnered with Gerald was the day cracks in the walls around Gail Peck started to appear. Gail had shown up to parade just in time, yet again, and sat in the back, as was becoming her normal. Once assignments were handed out she walked past the rookie and headed towards the vehicle pool, not even waiting for the newest recruit. Gail got into the drivers seat and was just about to leave the garage when Gerald yanked opened the passenger door of the moving car.

As he hurried to get into the car before it started to move faster Gerald asked, "Hey um Officer Peck, you know I'm riding with you today?"

Gail didn't even respond to the clown, she just made some sort of grunting noise and continued driving from the garage. The first call they received was a domestic case. A small child had called 911 stating her daddy was hurting her mommy. When the officers arrived on the scene they found a man had beaten his wife so badly she was sprawled out in a corner bleeding profusely. The girl that had called was curled up in her room crying, when Gail had approached her she noticed facial injuries to the girl as well. That's when Gail saw red. She immediately stomped back into the room where the man was handcuffed and began punching him. It took Gerald and two other officers to pull Gail off of the man.

Oliver showed up on the scene ten minutes after Gail had been placed in a room in the house to cool down. When he opened the door what he saw scared him. Gail sat on a chair, her hands covered in blood, tears running down her face and sobs escaping her mouth uncontrollably. Oliver slipped into the room making sure none of the other officers saw the broken women. He sat down next to her on the tub and before he managed to utter one word the blonde cop crawled into his arms. "I lost her Oliie. I lost her." Oliver assumed that Gail meant Holly with the confession.

"Gail, look at me." He watched as her teary eyes eventually found his . They looked so dim and broken. Oliver almost gasped. How had he missed this.

"Gail, darling. I know you miss her, have you tried texting her. I'd suggest calling her but Zoe tells me no one does that these days."

"I lost her. I lost Sophie." The last word was spoken so quietly Oliver almost didn't hear the name mentioned. His heart broke for the woman in his arms, he of course knew about the little girl and had given Gail some push in bettering her living situation in hopes it would better her chances for adopting the child. He couldn't understand why anyone would reject Gail, they way she lit up when she talked about the small girl was like she had actually given life to child herself. The only other time Oliver had heard Gail speak with such love and admiration about another soul was Holly Stewart. Oliver knew there was nothing he could say that would fix the situation, so he simply held Gail until she finished crying.

Upon returning to the station Gail was required to give a statement to internal affairs about the use of force against the subject. She was immediately suspended pending the investigation, a process not even her mother could help avoid. Gail had fucked up badly, she knew she'd be lucky if she didn't lose her badge over the incident. She didn't care, she just wanted to go home and get drunk, to forget all of the shit life was throwing at her. Holly had left, Sophie was snatched from her, and her job was most likely next in the chopping block. Gail didn't really see much going for her. That's what lead her to the Penny and the bottle of tequila.


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's note: I still continue to own nothing, my bank account can attest to that._

Chapter 3

It was in the middle of eating her salad for lunch when Dr. Holly Stewart heard her phone go off. She looked at the phone and almost dropped her fork. Gail had texted her.

**Neeerrrrddd why. Your left no her whyyyyyy **

Holly was confused, she had no idea what the gibberish on her screen meant. She looked at her watch and did the time conversion knowing it, usually, was too early for Gail to be drinking. She couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong with the cop. Holly then saw another message from Gail pop up on the screen.

**Holly noanswrtg here injieweenyou dsaew **

Now Holly knew for sure the blonde was drunk. Of course being across the continent wasn't very useful for helping drunk Gail. Holly fired off a text to Traci asking her to check on the blonde, as it was the only thing she could think to do.

Holly couldn't finish her lunch, not could she attempt to focus on work, not when her mind was racing about what was going on with Gail. She quickly cleaned up her desk and called her boss, she made some excuse about food positioning to leave the lab early. She drove to her apartment and paced just waiting for something. An hour after Gail's drunken texts she received an update from Traci.

**Thanks for the heads up on Gail, found her at the penny. She's pretty out of it, gonna drag her home. **

Holly breathed a sigh of relief. The woman that she loved, so immensely, would be ok. She hated feeling so absolutely powerless, and she felt that Gail's behaviour was her fault.

Taking a job in a different country, across the continent was probably the dumbest thing Holly had ever done. As soon as she was offered the position she had accepted it, she had no real reason to decline the offer, it was her dream job after and she had just been rejected by the person she loved, what was the point of sticking around and having to witness them continue to reject her. And then Gail came to the lab, came to her and gave a sliver of hope that just maybe she still loved the doctor as well. Holly remembered the rejection she'd felt for weeks and knew that Gail saying sorry wouldn't fix anything and so she used the stupid set up that Lisa had arranged the night before to subconsciously test Gail's resolve. She hadn't meant it, in fact it just kinda slipped out, since internally she was screaming thoughts of adoration. Holly couldn't help herself when she later brought the thumb to the station in hopes of seeing Gail and maybe getting more of an idea if she was clinging to a fantasy, or if Gail really did still feel the same for her. When those words emerged forms Gail's mouth that Holly was the most wonderful person she'd ever met, Holly wanted to collapse. She had to walk away, and that fact alone almost broke her right in front of Gail.

Holly had wrestled with her job decision since the encounter in the hallway, she had already committed to the position and resigned from her current job, but she also really needed to know if there was still a chance she and Gail could work it out, that maybe Gail felt the same way and Gail could come with her. She knew it was far fetched, but the romantic in Holly won out and she knew she had to try to have both this amazing career opportunity and the woman she loved. That's how she came to form her hair brained interrogation room ploy. She had known cornering Gail in a room wasn't the adult thing to do but it seemed like a brilliant plan that might just work. Then Gail said she had a 'thing'. Holly briefly hoped it didn't mean date, but she couldn't believe that after Gail's confession she would have moved on. Then Gail suggested the following night to have their much needed talk, her heart skipped a beat. It literally skipped a beat, and Holly felt like someone had spiked her tea she was so giddy. Of course that was short lived because once she left the station the reality of her recent decision hit her. Gail was a police officer, she couldn't just up and move to a different country, could she? Then came the next day when she picked up Gail for their planned evening which was derailed by the pair's confessions. In all the possible scenarios that Holly had played out in her mind never did she think that Gail would inform her of her intentions to become a mum. Her brain was working overtime and in a state of shock when the new job had slipped out. Her fantasy of going to San Francisco with Gail by her side came crashing down along with what she assumed was hopes for any reconciliation.

The next two weeks before Holly left Toronto had been almost too much for her. Gail had been perfect, she had been everything Holly needed, supportive and understanding, yet snarky and crass. She secretly hoped Gail would scream at her and beg her to stay, by she knew that wasn't Gail, and that would never happen. The growth Holly had seen in Gail since they had met several months before became glaringly obvious to the pathologist and it chipped away yet another piece of her heart that she was leaving. Holly hoped that perhaps they would continue their romantic relationship for the next few weeks, but the two had merely spent the two weeks as friends, no physical interaction and no emotional talks. The day that Holly left had been the hardest day of her life, harder than any of her school exams, harder than her residency, harder than all of them combined. She loved Gail and here she was abandoning her. Staring into the blue eyes before she headed towards the security queue made Holly's doubts come to the surface again. She couldn't voice them, however, not now, it was too little too late. So she hugged the blonde as tightly as possible, whilst willing her big brain to remember every dip and curve of Gail's body. When they finally pulled apart Holly couldn't help herself, her lips found Gail's and tried to remember every detail of them as well. The pair seemed to pour every emotion that had been bottled up for the past few weeks into that kiss and when they finally broke apart tears soaked both of their faces. Holly could barely speak she was so overcome with emotion, so when she finally stated she had to leave it came out in a squeak. She turned away from Gail and headed towards the checkpoint. Just before walking through the hall she turned to look back at the love of her life and the image she saw of Gail, tear streaked and abandoned, would become the nightmare that haunted her every single night.


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's note: Still own nothing, sadly. Thanks for all the follows and favourites and amazing reviews, you all are the best 3 Also, apologies, it's a short chapter, but the next chapter is almost ready to go, just need to tweak a few things._

Chapter 4

Holly's phone began to ring just as she was walking into her apartment. Traci was calling her.

"Hey Traci, how, um, are things with Gail?" Holly asked, not really knowing how to ask what was going on with Gail.

"Holly. I wouldn't normally do this especially not to Gail, but there's something you need to know." The tone in Traci's voice made the hairs on Holly's neck stand up. She swallowed the bile that was threatening to come up in her mouth.

"Traci, please just tell me what's going on, is Gail okay?"

"No. Holly, she didn't get Sophie."

"Oh my god." Holly's brain went into a tailspin. She knew the little girl had taken up residence in Gail's heart and that Gail already loved the little girl like she was her own.

"Holly, it's bad. I've seen Gail go through loss and I've never seen her this broken. She could also lose her badge."

"What! How."

"There was an incident at a crime scene yesterday, she beat a suspect pretty badly. It sort of makes sense now, but I'm afraid for her." Traci said with sadness coating her voice. Gail's yelling in the background broke the conversation and Traci said her goodbyes.

Holly made a decision right then and there, she was going to fix this. She was going to get Gail back and she knew that meant she had some work to do.

Back in Toronto, Traci was trying to help Gail into the shower after Gail had thrown up on herself. Traci had never seen Gail this drunk, she honestly was worried about alcohol poisoning. Gail demanded she just needed a shower and that she would be better, so here she was trying to help a very drunk Gail into the shower. Once they accomplished the task Traci gave Gail her privacy and walked into the kitchen to make some coffee. Traci was Gail's friend, shit she was one of the best detectives in the city, how had she missed the signs that Gail was in trouble. She knew that Gail had emotional walls that would rival the Great Wall, she still chastised herself for not seeing the signs. Traci hoped she had done the right thing by telling Holly about the information Gail had spit at her when she arrived at the bar, she hoped somehow Holly still could break through the infamous Peck defence and pull Gail from the darkness that she saw creeping into the blue eyes.

After 45 minutes Traci headed to check on Gail since she hadn't heard the other women exit from the washroom. Knocking on the door Traci received no reply, slowly she opened the door only to find Gail sitting on the floor naked and crying. Traci turned off the water and grabbed a towel placing it on Gail's lap and sat down next to her.

"Gail, look I'm worried about you."

"Why. It's not like any of this matters. Nothing matters. Everyone leaves anyway so maybe you should just do that already."

"Gail."

Gail had suddenly switched the ice queen mode back on. "I'm serious. I don't need you here. I don't need this. Get out."

Unsure what to do Traci tried to ignore Gail's request and remained on the floor. Gail looked over at her and stood up. "Get. The. Fuck. Out." Each word was said with such venom Traci was genuinely worried Gail might get physical if she didn't leave the room. She immediately retreated to the kitchen where she wrote Gail a note letting her know that she was willing to listen if Gail felt the need to talk, and that she truly cared and wanted to help. Traci grabbed a glass of water and the note and placed them just outside the wshroom door, she then slipped out of the apartment. When Gail read the note she crumpled it in her fist and threw it across the room.


	5. Chapter 5

_Author's note: I wish I owned any of these characters, if I did we'd have a Gail and Holly spinoff show. Sadly I do not. _

Chapter 5

Fourteen hours had passed since Traci left Gail's apartment, and since that time Gail had managed to drink even more and pass out. This was her life now. She had no girlfriend, no daughter, no best friend, and probably no job. What was the point of everything now. She was a complete and utter failure. Her mother and father would surely disown her when she lost her badge. Not to mention she'd be homeless. So really Gail was failing to see the point in pretty much everything, everything except alcohol.

Holly had spoken to Traci as soon as she got off the red eye she'd taken. She knew Gail had thrown the detective out and was in the worst mood Traci had ever seen. Holly knew the reason she had dropped her entire new life in San Francisco and taken the first flight to Toronto, the only reason that mattered to her; Gail. Stepping out of the taxi in front of Gail's apartment she took a deep breath, she knew this wasn't going to be the easiest conversation and she knew Gail would throw all the thoughts and feelings back in her face. She needed to mentally prepare herself for the oncoming hurricane.

Knocking at Gail's front door yielded no results, Holly still had the key that Gail had given her during that two week lull. Upon opening the door she softly called Gail's name and received no response. She took note of the state of the apartment, pizza boxes strewn about, empty bottles littered the floor, clothes were piled on the furniture. She knew Gail had never been a neat freak but even when she lived two guys her space had been much neater than this mess. She continued to look around to find any sign of the blonde, when she reached the bedroom she let out a small gasp. Gail was laying on the floor next to a bottle of tequila and a died puddle of vomit. Holly immediately rushed to her side as her medical training took over her actions. Holly was only relieved by the fact that Gail was laying face down, so she hadn't suffocated on her own vomit. She attempted to shake the woman awake but wasn't getting any reaction. She then dragged Gail's limp body to the washroom and forced her finger into her mouth, after a few seconds Gail expelled the rest of the contents of her stomach, which Holly judged to be purely alcohol. Gail's eyes went wide when she finally regained consciousness to the unfolding situation. Holly stood up and grabbed an empty cup that had been left on the sink, rinsed it out, filled it with water and handed it to the woman. Gail tentatively took the cup her eyes never leaving the doctor.

"Gail, you need to drink the water. You're probably severely dehydrated and you also need to rinse the acid from your mouth."

Gail blinked, clearly trying to figure out if she was imagining the brunette in the room with her.

"Why? You're here? What time is it?" Gail's brain was struggling to get the words to emerge from her mouth in order. She just sipped the water and stared.

"Do you have any food in this place or do I need to find the nearest takeout place?" Holly still in doctor mode, not wanting to broach the coming conversation just yet.

"I'm, I'm, uh not sure."

Holly stood up and walked out of the washroom for several minutes before returning with some bread she found in the kitchen.

After finishing the glass of water Gail placed the cup down just as Holly sat down next to her handing her the plate of bread. Gail poked the doctor in the shoulder.

"Yep, I'm real. I'm here Gail."

"Why." Holly knew that voice, that was the voice that she usually heard when it was directed towards people that weren't Holly.

"I missed you." Holly hoped that simplicity would be the best idea at this junction.

"Bullshit."

Holly titter her head, "Gail that's not fair."

"Ha. That's rich coming from the woman who the last time she told me that she missed me moved four thousand miles away two weeks later. So why are you really here, come to add to the shit pile that is my life, cos honestly it can't get any worse. I have nothing left, no reason to live. Nothing. Maybe Perick should have finished the job." Once the name left Gail's lips her gaze changed from the confused and slightly aggressive to downright angry. She looked down focusing on her hands and the bread.

Holly had only heard bits and pieces of Gail's captivity, she never pushed because she always assumed Gail would open up when she felt the need, when Holly heard the words come from Gail's mouth she knew the darkness was starting to win. Holly had to think very hard about what came it of her mouth next, one wrong word and Gail might be lost forever. "Gail, don't ever say that. You matter. You matter to me. I love you. I came back for you, I know I shouldn't have left in the first place and it was so stupid, because I'm so completely in love with you I couldn't even sleep properly when I left." Gail's head snapped up to look at Holly.

"What do you mean?"

"Every night I saw the worst moment of my life, the moment I left you at the airport and my god if I could go back and fix it hmrp"

Gail had shut Holly up with the only way she knew how. Holly let herself relish the contact of their lips for just a second before pulling back.

"Gail, I need to you to hear this. I need you to know it's true. I love you Gail. You can never have nothing left, because you have me." Holly's eyes filled with tears and she mentally begged Gail to fully hear the words and how true they were.

Gail's previously angry eyes shifted and relaxed turning a translucent blue. The wheels in her head clearly spinning, taking in all the information that was be thrust at her.

"You came back for me?" Gail's gaze softened just a bit as she asked.

"I shouldn't have left, I'm so, so sorry." Holly let the guilt take over and struggled to maintain eye contact with Gail.

Gail suddenly stood up and placed the plate on the sink then sat on the edge of the shower. She looked around the room and couldn't help but let a small chuckle out at her situation. It was beyond fucked. How had these two smart individuals been so completely stupid. Gail motioned down at her clothes, still soaked with vomit and stated she needed a shower. Holly just sat there for a beat, not sure what she should do until Gail asked her to grab her some clean clothes. She obliged and went to find Gail some clean clothes, which was a task easier said than done. Most Gail's clothes were scattered around her apartment so when Holly opened the closet she picked the only non uniform clothing that was remaining. When Holly pulled out the shirt she smiled, it was one of Holly's old University of Toronto shirts. She grabbed a pair of sweatpants and had to laugh when they too were Holly's. She returned to the washroom with the clothing in her hand only to stop at the door and drop them. Standing in the shower was a sobbing Gail. Holly immediately rushed towards her and climbed in, clothes be damned, she put her arms around the sobbing blonde, and felt Gail relax back into her before turning around in her arms.

"I had the same dream. Every night. It was slowly killing me. You left me. And then, then.." Holly just held Gail, she knew she had to let her get out whatever she was trying to say.

"They took Sophie. I didn't even get to say goodbye. I don't even know if I'll see her again." Gail's sobs grew uncontrollably.

Holly tightened her grip on Gail, mentally trying to pull away all of Gail's pain. "Shh, I'm here Gail. I love you. I'm not leaving you ever again. I love you so much."

Gail's tears finally subsided and Holly felt her go limp, the broken woman had fallen asleep, too exhausted with the world. Holly pulled Gail from the shower and carried her over to her bed, she grabbed a towel and tried to dry her off just a bit before pulling up the blanket. She set about trying to tidy the apartment while Gail slept. She texted Traci to update her on the situation and to ask for a huge favour. Gail needed to eat when she woke up, besides a loaf of bread and cheese puffs there wasn't much in the way of nutrients in the place. Traci quickly replied and said she'd swing by with the goods. Holly busied herself around the apartment listening out in case Gail stirred.

Holly heard her phone buzz and saw that it was Traci, she quickly went to the door and greeted the detective.

"How's she doing?" Traci asked as she placed the grocery bags down on the counter.

"Honestly, she's a mess. I can't blame her though, with all that she's been through the past few months. It shows how strong she is to even be able to function at this point."

"She'll get better. She's Gail, she's the strongest person I know. And now that you're here, I know she can make through this. Thank you for coming by the way."

"Anything for Gail. And thank you for helping me realise just how stupid I was to leave her."

The women's conversation was cut short by a noise coming from the bedroom. Holly looked towards the door and back to Traci who understood, excusing herself and heading out the door.

Holly walked back to the room to find Gail mostly clothed, mostly because she was only wearing Holly's shirt and a pair of boyshorts. Holly had to avert her eyes from the officer's form, this wasn't the time for that, bad brain.

"Hey how are you feeling, are you hungry, you should probably drink some more water."

"Nerd, calm down. I'm good, just stop talking, it's making my head hurt even worse. Actually, no, I need food." Gail pointed to her stomach and pouted. Holly smiled at her and she half smiled back, it was progress. Gail walked up to Holly grabbed her hand and dragged her to the kitchen.

"Food."

Holly smiled, god she missed Gail.

Only when Gail responded with "good." did Holly realise she had said that out loud. Blushing furiously she turned to the groceries on the counter and begin to make them some much needed food.

Gail sat in silence as Holly made them some mac and cheese, watching the brunette not really wanting to believe that maybe something was getting better in her life. When Holly set the cheesy goodness in front of Gail she muttered a thanks and dug in.

Holly watched as Gail devoured the food and asked for more. After all the mac and cheese was eaten and the dishes cleaned Holly turned to Gail.

"So..." Holly asked as her eyebrows shot up.

"So?"

"This is the awkward part where we continue our conversation."

Gail sighed, "Nah, I'm good. My life is shit and well it's a little less shit since you're here."

"Wow, was that a Gail Peck compliment? Bestill my heart."

"I'm serious though, I don't really want to talk about anything right now." Gail got up from the chair and walked closer to Holly with a look that Holly knew well creeping into her eyes.

"No talking." And with that short statement Gail claimed Holly. She slammed their lips together channelling all the emotions she had felt over the past few months. They both needed the contact, to prove that they were both still deeply connected, even after the time apart. The kisses weren't slow nor gentle these were meant to make a statement. Mine. Gail finally let up on her lip assault and pushed the doctor towards the bedroom.


	6. Chapter 6

_Author's note: I struggled a lot with rewriting this chapter so if you're not a fan of it I'm ok with that, also I'm only borrowing these characters, sadly I don't own them._

Chapter Six:

When Holly awoke a few hours after their physical reunion and found Gail's side of the bed was empty and cold. Holly shook the remnants of sleep from her mind and found a shirt that was near by, she slipped it on and got out of the bed. She walked into the washroom and found no signs of the blonde, she then wandered into the kitchen and her stomach dropped, Gail was sitting on the floor with another bottle of whiskey, her eyes closed either asleep or passed out. Holly called her named gently and when that did not rouse the blonde she walked over and moved the bottle away then tried to gently shake the blonde.

"Gail, honey you need to wake up."

"Stop shaking me. I am awake. Why are you still here?" She tried to sound angry but the pain in Gail's voice betrayed her.

"What do you mean by that? Why would I leave?" Holly couldn't understand what was happening, if Gail was being hurtful on purpose.

"Why would you be here? I'm still a fuck up. You deserve better, you should just leave and save yourself."

"Ok, now we are definitely having that talk that we should have had before we, um, you know."

The doctor sat down next to Gail, apparently sitting on the floor was the new thing.

"Gail, listen to me, I love you, I told you that last night but you need to hear me now. I love you, I came back for you, I should never have left. I wanted you to ask me to stay, but I shouldn't have put that all on you. I wanted you to fight for me. Ask me to stay, but you didn't, and then it felt like you gave up again. But I'm so dumb, the whole time I should have seen it before, god, I'm so stupid. I should have fought for you."

"Why." Gail watched as Holly's eyes cast downwards upon the word. She closed them for a moment then brought them back to meet blue one.

"Because you're my plus one forever remember?" Holly watched as the blue eyes relaxed a little.

"Holly I can't do this. I can't do anything right now let alone be what you need." Gail sounded so small as she replied.

"I only need you. I don't need you to be anything or anyone else. I need Gail Peck, the sarcastic, bitter, childish, funny, caring, adorable, cuddly, you." Holly reached over and grabbed Gail's hand. "I want to be here for you, in whatever form you need me. I'm here for you."

Gail sat quietly for a moment then said, "I don't know what I need."

Holly gave her small smile, "And that's ok."

The doctor watched as Gail's eyes left hers and darted around the room.

"Thanks for cleaning my apartment nerd." Gail's mood shifting slightly.

"About that." Holly turned and looked around the apartment then back at the blonde, "Gail, you may not know what you need from me but drinking the pain away isn't healthy."

Gail dropped her hand and stood up. Her jaw squaring and eyes becoming focused. "Here we go, I'm sorry I'm not the perfect Peck, but this is how I deal with things. And you know what, I was doing fine till you got here."

Standing, Holly's gaze turned to steel. "No. You aren't doing that Gail, I never expected you to be perfect, that's one of the things I love about you. All I'm saying is that this path doesn't work Gail. Do you honestly think your friends and I are going let you go down that road and end up like Chris or the other 33% of police officers?"

Gail sighed, she knew the darkness has been taking over and she wanted to fight it, she just wasn't strong enough. But then again she didn't have Holly telling her she was loved, and if their brief time together had taught her stubborn self anything it was that Holly was always right.

She wasn't ready to let Holly all the way back in, her heart still expected the woman to walk out the door at any moment and that scared her. Her heart also knew she needed to finally let someone take part of her pain, to lift the burdens of her life off her shoulders, even if it was for just a moment, and the cop knew that Holly was the only one she ever trusted to do so.

"Ugh, why do you have to be so smart. I'm not going to turn into a drunk either. Drinking just helped numb things so I could sleep." her voice took on a hint of annoyance mixed with resignation.

"Gail, honey, drinking socially and abusing alcohol are two different things. I'm worried about you, you do remember the state I found you in right?" Gail looked down at the question, how could she forget waking up from the darkness and seeing the terrified look in Holly's eyes, the look that shook all the drunkenness from her mind.

"Traci suggested I see that shrink again." Gail whispered.

Holly gave a reassuring smile, "But do you think that's a good idea?"

"Honestly. I think it might be." Gail sounded almost defeated but strangely reflective.

And there it was, that small confirmation of massive growth for Gail gave Holly all the assurances that she needed, she had absolutely made the right decision in coming back. Holly couldn't help but smile.

"So that's a good place to start I think." Holly replied. Gail gave the doctor a half smile.

Holly reached over and pulled the blonde into an embrace. Gail pulled back slightly and looked at the brunette before kissing her hard. The doctor knew they hadn't sorted out everything, but it was exactly as she had said, a start.


	7. Chapter 7

_Author's note: Thanks for all the reviews/follows/favourites and thanks so much for reading this. I don't own RB or anything to do with the show. Still. Maybe one day I'll win the lottery and fix that._

**Chapter Seven:**

The next morning Holly woke up to quite possibly the best thing ever, Gail was wrapped around from behind and was lightly snoring in her ear. Holly had told Gail that she loved her, Gail hadn't said the words back, but Holly knew Gail felt the same way, she also knew the blonde hadn't quite felt the words, yet. Holly's mission was to now make sure Gail knew that she was loved, that she mattered, that she would forever be Holly's first choice. She was almost giddy trying to think of ways to shower affection upon Gail, she had saved up quite a nice sum of money before moving to San Francisco, and knew she could count on the other officers to help her in her new life mission. She began Operation Golly a few moments later, she woke Gail up in the only way that Gail enjoyed, with Holly's tongue ravaging and worshipping her.

After Holly showed Gail's temple enough veneration she headed to the kitchen to make some coffee, leaving a smirking naked blonde in the bed. Holly was in the middle of making breakfast when Gail entered the kitchen and put her arms around the doctor. Holly turned in Gail's arms kissing her soundly.

"Morning. There's some coffee, I know you can't function without your caffeine." Holly gently teased.

"Well, if every morning I wake up to sex, I might be able to cut back on the coffee." Gail smiled just a bit and released her hold on Holly. She grabbed the cup that sat in front of the pot and poured herself a cup of the liquid drug.

"I have to go into the station today Hols." Gail spoke as her eyes focused on the steaming mug.

Holly placed the now ready French toast in front of Gail's and reached for her chin, pushing it up so that blue eyes met brown."What time am I taking you?"

Holly knew the reason for Gail's apprehensiveness about going to the station, the disciplinary hearing was today and Gail would discover her fate.

"I have to be there at 3, it's fine, I'll be ok."

"Gail, I'm driving you. Now eat your breakfast." Gail gave Holly a look that almost looked like resignation mixed with glee which Holly returned with a quick kiss. Gail shovelled the sugary toast into her mouth and let the conversation end there.

While Gail was in the shower Holly sent an email to her old boss at the Toronto medical examiners office. She knew getting her job back would be easy, her boss had practically begged her not to leave and had promised to keep a spot open for Holly just in case. She honestly had missed her coworkers there and was looking forward to seeing them again. After the email was sent she fired off a few texts to Gail's fellow officers, she knew regardless of today's outcome Gail was going to be in need of some interaction with her friends at the Penny, even if Gail would deny that fact with her last breath. Holly went to check on Gail in the shower after her tasks were completed and found she was just stepping out, Holly didn't even bother to hide the ogling of Gail's body. "We're gonna be late if you keep looking at me like that."

Holly shook her fuzzy brain and gave Gail one of her trademark lopsided grin. "Sorry, not sorry?" Holly knew they really didn't have time for what she wanted to do more than anything, so she simply walked over to the cop and kissed her then pushed her towards the closet. Gail got dressed in her dress uniform as Holly finished getting dressed in her own uniform of sorts, a blazer on top of a blue sweater and slacks. Holly grabbed Gail's hand and pulled the cop towards her. She kissed her fully pulling away and placing their foreheads together. "No matter what happens, I'm here for you, I love you Gail."

Ever so quietly Gail whispered back, "love you too". Holly broke out into a grin, her heart thumping so hard in her chest, she was sure Gail could hear it. Gail gave the doctor a small kiss and then they made their way to Gail's car.

The drive to the station was relatively quick and quiet, Gail's hand never left Holly's the entire time. Once they pulled into the parking lot Gail took a deep breath and got out of the car. She waited for Holly to walk over to the passenger side and interlocked their fingers and they walked towards Gail's fate together.

The hearing went faster than Gail expected, she also didn't hear much of what was being said, as the sound in her ears of her heart beating drowned out all other noise. Oliver spoke for her at the hearing, stating that Gail had been undergoing extreme stress and that termination was not in the department's best interest. Several other officers that were present at the scene testified on what they saw and almost every officer had stated losing Gail would be a blow for the city and its citizens. When it finally came time for the decision Gail couldn't breathe. She simply closed her eyes and focused on thoughts of Holly. Oliver pulling her up and into a hug snapped her out of her thoughts. She simply let herself be hugged, assuming the worst. When Holly's arms replaced Oliver's she let herself relax a little. The brunette's fingers rubbed circles on Gail's back and they stood there not moving. Holly whispered into Gail's ear, "I love you."

Gail was still clinging to Holly when she felt Holly push her back a little, she opened her eyes and saw her mother standing in front of her with an unreadable look upon her face. "Gail, you're lucky your friends like you so much. Don't embarrass me like this again." And with that she turned and walked out of the room. Gail turned and looked at Holly and received the Holly smile special. That's when she knew, she was still a cop. They hadn't taken her badge. Holly saw the emotional cloud in Gail's eyes swirling and suggested they make their exit. Before reaching the car Holly placed a small kiss on Gail's cheek and said, "ready to get out of here?"

Gail smirked, "God yes."

At the Penny most of the officers in the squad had come to Gail and expressed their delight in her only receiving probation, mandated anger management, and desk duty for the next month. They were genuinely happy for her to still be one of them. It was confusing for Gail, most of these people tolerated her, they didn't like her, so she couldn't understand why they were happy to have her and her attitude hanging around. She assumed everyone would think her her mother pulled strings to allow her to keep her job, but after each interaction she was beginning to doubt that theory. Holly however saw the respect that Gail had earned over the past few years from the fellow officers. She saw just how much Gail had made a difference in people's lives, and it made her heart swell. When Traci arrived she smiled at seeing Gail and Holly's hands wrapped around each other. "Hey you two."

"Traci!" Gail greeted the woman with what sounded like actual excitement in her voice.

"Are you here to save us from the twilight zone. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take." Gail said and she buried her head into Holly's shoulder.

"Poor Gail, are people actually being nice to you. Must be awful." Traci teased.

"And how are you doing Holly?"

"I'm where I'm supposed to be, so I'm good." Holly squeezed Gail a little as she spoke. "Are you thirsty? Let me get it, I sort of owe you basically forever."

"Getting happy Gail back was a gift you gave me, but I will definitely take you up on that drink." Traci said as she ordered a drink.

"I'm right here. I can hear you." Gail decided to detach from her shoulder pillow.

Traci and Holly exchanged a look and a laugh at Gail's faux whining. Holly then excused herself to go to the washroom.

After taking a sip of her drink Traci turned to Gail and asked, "Big girl answer time Gail, are you doing alright, because the last time I saw you, well I had to call in backup."

"Everything is still a bit fucked up, but it's getting better. Thanks Traci. I mean it, I know Holly is here because of you and I'm not sure what would have happened if she hadn't come back."

"Gail, she's not here because of me, she's here for you. That woman loves you." Traci smiled as she watched Gail's face light up at the words.

Holly returned a few moments later and slipped behind Gail wrapping her arms around the woman she loved. "You need to see anyone else or are you ready to go home?"

"Holly you don't have a home." Gail dead panned.

Holly gave her a lopsided grin and said, "Gail, you are my home."

Gail rolled her eyes and kissed her, "God, I'm gonna get diabetes from being around you."

"If anything gives you diabetes, it's going to be your diet." Holly replied as they walked outside.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

One week later...

Operation Golly had been in full swing for the past week, Holly had been showering Gail with all the things Gail loved. Holly had purchased a new playstation 4, along with every game for the system. They had taken a shopping trip to Eaton Centre where Holly had dropped a hefty sum on the officer. Holly had made sure every day Gail received her favourite food delivered at work, where she was still stuck at the front desk as per her punishment. Today's present was a gift basket full of Cheetos and Timbits. Upon seeing the basket Gail practically squealed with delight. Nick wandered over to the desk when he heard the noise.

"Gail?"

"No Nick, you can't have any. Mine." Gail pulled the basket closer to her and scowled at her ex-boyfriend turned current friend. Nick couldn't help but laugh at the scene, he loved Gail, not in the way he once had, but as a friend he would do anything for. "She's really good for you Gail, maybe not the best for your waist..."

"Are you calling me fat Nicholas?" Gail's words dripping with amusement, she missed the banter she had cut off when Holly left.

"You said it, not me." He grinned at her. "I missed this. I'm glad to see you happy again Gail, you deserve it."

"Not you too. Has everyone lost their mind and turned to goo?" Gail frowned and pushed him away from the desk. "It might be contagious, get out of here before you infect me."

When Gail's shift was over she headed to the locker room, when she opened her locker she stopped and looked around. She then picked up the box that was sitting on top of her clothing. She looked for a card but there was none attached, she gently shook the box but that also yielded no answers. Gail was relatively certain the box was from Holly, so she felt safe that it wouldn't explode in her face if she opened it, her assumptions were correct. Gail gasped when she saw the contents of the box, a silver necklace with a handcuff charm on it. She turned it over in her hand and saw that it had been engraved with a simple 'G + H'. As she put it on, Gail couldn't help but smile deliriously. Later that night she would show Holly her appreciation for the necklace by waiting for her on the bed whilst wearing only the necklace.

The next morning was pancakes in bed day, followed by a trip to the gun range. Holly wasn't really much of a firearms enthusiast, but Gail took the time to show her how to hold the handgun properly and how to counteract the kickback. Holly also learnt how to aim down the sights properly, she managed to actually hit the centre mass of the target twice which she proudly showed Gail, earning her a smile and kiss. Gail smiled at Holly's nerdy celebration of hitting the paper target and realised that she was happy, she knew Holly had been devoting all her time and effort to making Gail feel loved, and how Gail felt it. Never one to dwell on emotions, she couldn't help but constantly feel loved. Gail wondered if maybe her life completely unravelling was the best thing that ever happened to her. In the depths of her brain, however, was a tiny voice that wouldn't let Gail be completely happy, it kept telling her that something was missing.

On Wednesday afternoon Gail's phone rang, she pulled it out of her pocket and looked at the caller. It was Lauren, the social worker, Gail immediately answered it.

"Hi Lauren, how's Sophie?"

"Hey Gail. Sophie is good, that's actually why I'm calling, I have some news to share that I hope is good. Sophie's father has officially been cleared to take custody of Sophie, and after speaking to him, and some begging by Sophie, he's agreed to let her see you whenever she wants."

"Oh my god." Gail began to tear up.

"There's more Gail" Lauren interjected.

"What, how?"

"He's also putting you as her legal guardian should anything happen to him. If you're ok with that."

"Yes absolutely yes!" Gail was beyond overjoyed.

"Good, that's what I thought. I'll let Sophie's father know immediately and I'll ask him to call you to set up a time to visit Sophie and of course I'll get the paperwork set up and delivered to you. I'm really happy for you Gail, Sophie is a brave little girl, but I think she needs you in her life." Gail could almost hear Lauren's smile through the phone.

"I hope she needs me, I know I need her. Thank you so much Lauren." Gail was almost speechless. Everything in her life was back to the way it should be, Gail wondered how she got so lucky.

Gail immediately called Holly after she hung up with Lauren. She couldn't wait to tell Holly the news, but the phone went to Holly's voicemail. Gail sighed and decided to head over to the morgue where Holly had been back at work for the past three days. Stepping into Holly's lab she still didn't see the doctor. Gail tried her phone again, still no answer. Gail started to worry, it wasn't like Holly to not answer or let the cop know where she was heading. Just as Gail was walking out of the lab she saw the intern whose name she could never remember.

"Hey have you seen Holly, she's not answering her phone?"

The intern looked as though he was thinking very hard before he said, "Um. Nope. Uh. I think she went to lunch. Um I gotta go, hope you find her." He scurried off before Gail could ask anything else.

Now Gail was very concerned, the stupid intern had only made her more confused as to Holly's location. Gail decided to head back to the station, maybe Holly really was at lunch and was driving. Holly never answered her phone if she was driving, she was smart like that. Gail got back to the station and heard her phone ring, it was Holly. Relieved she answered, "Hey Nerd, where have you been I went to the lab and you weren't there."

Gail heard Holly take a breath before she said "Oh, I was just driving back from a scene. Didn't I tell you? Double homicide over on Bathurst."

Gail remembered hearing the call over the radio earlier, "Nope, didn't tell me that Lunchbox. But...I have some amazing news Holly! Sophie's father agreed to let Sophie visit whenever she wants!" Gail's voice rose almost an entire octave with excitement.

"Oh my god Gail! That is amazing!" Holly couldn't help but smile. She knew how much the girl meant to Gail and knew that having the girl in Gail's life would have nothing but a positive impact.

"We're gonna celebrate tonight Nerd. I'm gonna take you out to that Indian place you love. What time is your shift over?"

"Hmmm, probably by six." Holly said.

"Good. Pick me up at 7:30."

"Ha, I can do that. I love you Officer Amazing." Gail laughed at Holly's use of her nickname.

"Captain Nerdalicious, see you later." Gail put her phone in her pocket and walked into the station.

Once inside the station she spotted Traci, who waved her over, "Hey Traci, what's up."

"Gail I need a big favour, there's a woman we brought in earlier, she might be the shooter from the homicide this morning, but I need someone to play good cop for me."

Gail's face fell into work mode, "You want me to go in there and compliment her on her shoes or something?"

Traci laughed, "No nothing like that, just offer her water and sit there. I have to go get the evidence file and then I'll be in to take over. She's in interrogation room three. I'll be right in there." And with that Traci turned and headed to her desk.

Gail wandered over to interrogation room three and opened the door. Her face going from stoic to confused as she saw no one in the chair of the room. The door then slammed shut and she was pushed up against it. Her lips were under assaulted by one Holly Stewart. Gail pulled away, "Holly what the hell. Please don't tell me you shot someone, I have a lot of connections but thrmp" Holly revered their usual roles and shut Gail up by kissing her. Gail responded by flipping their positions and pushing Holly against the wall, deepening the kiss. Holly's hands were in her hair and on her face, and Holly's body pinned, flush against Gail. Holly then pushed herself off the wall and directed their bodies to the middle of the room. Gail pulled away when she felt her legs hit the metal table. Holly's hand covered Gail's mouth before she had a chance to ask anymore questions.

"Gail, I love you. You are the most amazing person I've ever met." Gail smiled at her own words being used.

"It only took one look, one insult, and one kiss to realise that you are my one. You, Gail. I want to be your plus one forever. " Holly pulled out a small box from her pocket. She opened it and presented it to the cop. Gail's heart stopped, her brain racing to catch up to the situation.

Holly took a deep nervous breath before continuing. "Gail Peck, you are my first choice, forever. I know this might feel sudden, but rushing into relationship stuff headfirst is kind of our thing, and this feels right Gail. So right that I couldn't even stand to wait any longer to ask you. So, um, will you be my official plus one forever and marry me?" Holly pushed the ring towards Gail, locking eyes with the blonde. Devoid of all speech capabilities, Gail just nodded her head in affirmation.

Gail hadn't even felt the tears falling down her face until she was kissing Holly and she began to taste the salt. Gail wasn't sure what magical force had given her a second chance on having her fairy tale but she silently thanked it with everything she had.

"I love you Gail."

"I love you Holly."

The End.

**_Author's notes: Welp, there's my first fic out of the way. I hope you guys liked it, I enjoyed writing it and I'm glad it seems some of you thought it was decent. Thank you to all who read, reviewed, favourited, and followed. Till next time._**


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